Location: Anywhere that isn’t lava
Time: who are we kidding
Join us as we give our weary species one last hurrah just in time to watch the fireworks that will engulf us in blazing perfection! Paint your body and face in skeleton patterns using the volcanic soot that you’re breathing anyway and lock hands with your fellow dead in the largest danse macabre this city has ever seen!
The bar will be open all night. But strictly self-service! Just make sure to approach the nearest band of looters offering dog-food (or dog-meat) in exchange for a reprieve from physical danger. Or just get high on the toxic fumes slowly permeating your gas mask!
Dress code is no code
Entry is mandatory
No RSVP required
~
-Hi, who is this?
[silence]
Hello? Look the cell towers are mostly blown maybe you can’t get a signal–
-What do you mean who is this? Who did you think it might be?
-Oh, hey babe. Your number’s changed.
-Yes, my phone stopped working. I had to go through six stores before I found one they hadn’t emptied out.
-Oh, bum.
-So?
-So what?
-Who did you think I was?
-I don’t know, maybe there is some old flame who got away and now you get to finally be together for one night of passion no strings attached as this is the last night before we all die not to mention all remaining string is being used up for makeshift crossbows–
-Er, no, I mean, I was just lost in what I was doing, I guess.
-OMG, I can’t believe you’re still doing this.
-What, writing my novel? Babe we’ve spoken about this–
-Oh no, that’s fine baby, of course I support your lifelong goal of drafting Chapter One by midnight.
-I mean, I don’t even have to quit my job anymore.
-Keep it positive.
-Keep it positive!
-But make sure you’ll be done by 10ish, yeah?
-Um, why?
[silence]
-Babe?
-The party?
-Oh, I don’t know… They’ve been partying for the last night on Earth for what, three months straight?
[silence]
-Babe, come on.
-You promised.
-BUT BABE WHAT ABOUT MY CHAPTER
-AND WHAT ABOUT ME WE NEVER GO OUT ANYMORE
-Babe it’s just one night–
-IT’S THE ONLY NIGHT
[signal breaks up]
-OKAY THEN! GO ON YOUR OWN! I HOPE FUCKING ZOMBIE DOGS GET YOU! I’M GONNA STAY HERE AND NOT WRITE! CAUSE YOU RUINED IT! I GUESS I’LL BE THINKING ABOUT US–
[signal dies]
the Budafoki amended 